pleatedjeans:

Effective on all varieties of jellyfish [x]

lyssismore:

Always reblog Easy A.

(via halfofmyself)

panic-at-the-discount-store:

I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms

(via shewhosleepswithwolves)

sarcarstic:

We’re having pizza for dinner, is that ok?

image

(via tastefullyoffensive)

(via sofapizza)

I have a GENIUS idea for a TV show. Half cat;half dog. No, no. I already have the perfect name. Get this. “Catdog”. No, don’t worry about how it poops. You’re disgusting. This is a kids show — Someone at nickelodeon like 20 years ago (via juliepowers)

(via good-bye-yellow-brick-road)

Upon Entering Best Buy

  • Me: That sign says Best Buy has techfitters.
  • Wife: So?
  • Me: Techfitter is not a real word. Companies can't just make up words.
  • Wife: Who cares?
  • Me: "Welcome to Best Buy! Have a hurfuffle day!"
  • Wife: Stop.

this was the best ending to any movie ever. ever. 

no one can convince me otherwise. 

(via good-bye-yellow-brick-road)

ragingbitchfest:

stylinfcuk:

laughing so hard because this is so accurate

We used AIM but same thing.

(via halfofmyself)

jollygemma:

*tells friend good news* 

friend: “yeah but…” 

image

(via halfofmyself)

tittily:

my favorite thing about england is that the word pulp doesnt exist 

tittily:

my favorite thing about england is that the word pulp doesnt exist 

(via britisharistocracy)